One week down...15 to go...

Well, it's been one week back, and I have to say that I already HATE one of my classes; it's called "Writing for Essay Proficiency," and the only reason I'm taking it is because I failed the Junior Writing Proficiency Exam twice...TWICE! I'll admit that the second time I took the test I wasn't caring at all. I filled the exam with a lot of profanity, blasphemy, and violent imagery, and I even drew pictures on the last page just for the hell of it.

I don't think that I have a problem with grammar. In fact, I'm one of those anal people that must correct myself if I say that I did something "good". My problem with the exam is that I have trouble formulating ideas in a coherent essay, in under an hour and a half, about topics that I don't really care much about. For instance, one of the questions was "What do you think defines a lady and gentleman of today?" Christ, I don't know. A lady never goes down on the first date, and the guy always carries a rubber? I told a co-worker about this, and he said, "Hmm, that does raise a good question on morales of today and what is expected or considered acceptable in a romantic relationship of the 21st century." What the shit! I should've written about this topic, but I know that I wouldn't have kept the essay clean enough for a middle-aged, conservative, Christian group to pass my exam.

So, now, I am stuck with about twelve foreigners in a class that teaches you how to write an essay. You will not believe the homework that we had last week for this class...combine assigned sentences to make either a compound, complex, or compound-complex essay. Here's an example problem:

Jim played his stereo at full volume one evening.
The mice all left the building.
His downstairs neighbor thought the Russians had attacked.

Here's my answer:

Jim played his stereo at full volume one evening, and this caused the mice to flee the building like a bunch of crazed Russians; coincidentally, his downstairs neighbor thought the Russians had attacked.

Hey, I might as well have a little fun with it. And what the hell is with the "Russians had attacked" sentence? How old IS this paper. At least get some new assignment sheets. $25,000 per student for tuition, and they can't even get papers with topical sentences. I know, I know. What difference does it make if this grammar assignment has topical sentences? There is no difference; I just hate this class so much that even the trivial shit pisses me off...or is it, "pisses off me"? Aw, screw it.