African Snake! Ooh, It's a Snake!

Hey, everyone.

Yeah, I know. Sorry this blog hasn't been updated in a while, but, in my defense, I was home. Why bother writing stuff that I was going to tell you all in person anyway? Sadly, though, I am back at school. So, the blog continues!

For those of you wondering, the semester ended pretty well. I finally passed the JWP (proving that I am not a complete retard), and I even finished the first draft of my first feature-length script. If any of you want to read it, just tell me. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll let you see it any time soon but perhaps in the distant future when I feel the time is right. (Hey, it's still a first draft. It could definitely use some tweaking, and I'm already in the process of making changes.)

Anyway, it's my second week back on campus, and I'm already kind of bored. There's really nothing much to do. In fact, it has gotten so bad, that I have even played with the thought of going out and watching Wolf Creek, a film that Ryan James has called "the worst movie I have ever seen...at least in a theatre." Perhaps it's because I grew up watching Mystery Science Theater 3000, but I for one feel that watching a really shitty movie could be just as fun as watching a good one. I have come so close to watching Wolf Creek so many times too , but, alas, I have no money. Besides, it only has a 52% on the Tomato-meter over at www.rottentomatoes.com. Why go see that when I can see a real shit-fest like BloodRayne?

Yup, you read right! 6 percent! Sounds like we have a winner. In fact, I have actually seen some previews for this on TV, and the film quality looks so friggin' horrible. Each time I see the previews I think the announcer will say it's coming on right after Xena: Warrior Princess. Man, I really need to start searching the couch cushions for some dough so I can see this and report back from the front lines.

Speaking of shitty films, here is one for the future, when it's released: Snakes On A Plane.

Already, the title sounds bogus, I'm sure, but it does exist and will come out. Here is the plot synopsis, according to www.imdb.com:

On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes.

Still don't believe that this is going to be an actual movie? Perhaps some production stills will help you:

For instance, this guy is about to get tore-the-fuck-up by a snake...on a plane!

Now, I have no idea who the hell the actor is in the picture above. Luckily, the filmmakers have decided to throw in some familiar faces to help boost ticket sales:

That's right! It's Kenan fuckin' Thompson...best known for his roles in such classics as Fat Albert and Good Burger. Hmm...those films seem to have a common theme. Maybe that's why Kenan's got that Is-This-Edible look on his face. Well, do us all a favor and find out, you sack of crap.

Oh, but I said famous faces, didn't I? Well, how about this bad-ass mother fucker:

"Jedi Knight Mace Windu?!? What are you doing in Springfield?" Seriously, I shit you not. Samuel L. Jackson is taking on the role of Investigator(?) Nelville Flynn in this soon-to-be epic picture. I don't know about you guys, but I can't wait! Be sure to look for Jackson in his future projects: T-Mobile commercial and Jerry Lewis Telethon.

What the hell is Samuel L. Jackson doing here? For that, I have no answer. The Staab did tell me an interesting anecdote, though. Apparently, Jackson said he would only do the role as long as the films kept the title "Snakes On A Plane". Seems to me that Jackson knows damn well what he's getting into and wants the audience to know as well...decreases expectations I guess, or at the least sets them where they ought to be. I doubt this movie will lose any money, though. Really, what do you need? Some cameras, people, snakes...and a plane. Hell, forget the plane; just a set that looks like one.

I have to thank my roommate, The Staab, for bringing this film to my attention. I can't wait until it hits video stores.

Anyway, that's all for now. See you guys later.