LOST ARTICLE: I am NOT a film student...

Hey, everyone. As most of you know, I have been in the process of cleaning my room for the past three weeks. However, this also means that I have been organizing computer files and pictures as well as sorting out various loose ends. It's all part of a project I call "Operation: Get Your Shit Together." Anyway, part of said Operation is finishing a post on this blog that I started two weeks before I graduated from Chapman. So, here is the lost article known as "I am NOT a film student...." Enjoy...

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Hey, everyone.

Thought I'd do a little writing here on the blog since ACTUAL writing hasn't been done in over two months. I wish I could say that it was all due to a busy schedule, but it was probably due more to my extreme laziness and my obsession with watching stupid internet videos. (Hey, I can't write my entry and watch some woman get punched in the face at the same time...and on the same computer no less.)

Anyway, graduation is less than two weeks away, and that means I'll have to start looking for a job soon...or does it? I mean, I have been studying to be a screenwriter for the past four years. Maybe I should just do what they taught me and write write write. Yeah. I was a film school student, and now I'm gonna work at home and be a writer!

Then again, in my four years at Chapman, I never really felt like a film school student...well, not a good one anyway. It seems that around these parts you aren't really considered a film student unless you have seen a pretty good amount of films. For example, here is a conversation of what usually happens:

FILM STUDENT:
It's a lot like that scene from The Godfather. You know what I mean?

ME:
I've never seen The Godfather.

FILM STUDENT:
You've never seen The Godfather? And you call yourself a film student?

This is pretty much how it usually goes. And it doesn't have to be The Godfather. Really, just take it out and replace it with Metropolis, Chinatown, Rocky, 2001: A Space Oddysey, Dr. Strangelove, Die Hard, Boogie Nights, The Great Dictator, Robocop, Tootsie, The Wall, Ran, Transformers: The Movie, etc., and you can watch my film student credentials hit rock bottom.

For the longest time, I felt that not seeing so many movies that others deemed as classics was what made me feel like an inadequate film student. However, the true answer came to me as I was walking to class inside the film building. Based on the following pictures, can you identify what separates me from the true film elitists?


Outside The Cafeteria


Outside Oliphant Music Hall


Outside Hashinger Science Center


Outside Leatherby Libraries


Outside DeMille Hall Film/TV Building

And bingo! Smoking! Smoking is what separates me from the cream of the crop! So, with my newfound knowledge, I went down to the corner gas station and bought myself a pack of Marlboro's (the brand my father so lovingly smokes) and went back to the film building to test out my new persona. Check out what happened:



















Holy shit, did you like that? Come to think of it, i don't remember even hearing of M or Fritz Lang before I started smoking. Man, this shit is great! It's like it gives me brain powers or something. I mean, it has to. How else do you explain this:



I mean, shit! My brain is the size of a fuckin' Ford Excursion AND I'm selling my script to Kevin Smith! If these are the side effects of smoking, then fuck cigaretts; I'm moving on to some goddamn Redwoods. See you all on fame's backside.

-Ray