Work and a Bear...

Hey, everyone.

Before the incoherent rambling begins, I wanted to tell you about a cool website if you're a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. The website is www.cheepnis.com, and you can buy every episode of MST3K there (excluding the ones that have already been made available through Rhino Home Entertainment). The quality isn't that bad at all; it's about where a decent VHS copy should be. There is some pixelation, but really only in the menu screen. All-in-all, I would definitely recommend this site.

Anyway, that's enough of publicizing that guy's site...back to the rambling! First off, I'd like to start by complaining about work, something I do quite often if you know me. Yesterday, I was so close to going into a homicidal rage, and it was all because I was metal detecting people, finding something, and the guest going, "Does loose change count?" YES, YOU TWAT! IT'S MADE OF METAL! I was even getting this question from college students, the supposedly better-educated. As it turns out, going to a four-year university still doesn't stop you from being a complete retard. And, seriously, I want all the guests to stop announcing what their item is after they pull it out of their pockets. "Keys...phone...cigarettes..." Yeah, I see that. What the fuck is this, Sesame Street? Will you be pulling out numbers and the alphabet too? I can see what you pulled out of your pockets; you don't need to teach me about these new-fangled gadgets. Finally, to the guy showing up the last week of Haunt and jokingly telling me that he has a cock-piercing on and asking if if will set the detector off: who writes your material? You are one funny, man, sir. Kudos to you and your keen sense of humor. Why you are in sweatpants and a t-shirt, I have no idea, because a man of your calibur performance should be getting paid enough to wear Armani suits. Once again, bravo to you, soon-to-be-comedy-legend. You are truly an original.

Man, all that venting felt pretty good. Seriously, I was so close to just smashing my metal detector against something...or someone. Thankfully, I called in sick today. Unfortunately, it's not to relax but to catch up on some homework. Right now I have about 60 pages of script to revise by Monday, and I can't do it with work every day of the week. Just in case you were wondering, here is what calling in sick sounded like (by the way, I'm obviously giving a bullshit excuse):

SECURITY GUY:
Security, how may I help you.

ME:
Hi, this is Raymond Delgadillo. I'm scheduled to work at Haunt tonight, but I unfortunately can't make it.

SECURITY GUY:
What's your reason.

ME:
I need to attend a film shoot.

SECURITY GUY:
Hold on, let me go find a supervisor.

(On Hold)

SECURITY GUY:
Okay, I can't find a supervisor, so I'm just gonna let you go.

ME:
Okay.

SECURITY GUY:
But you'd better get your schedule figured out because you can't just bail out at the last minute.

ME:
I know. Sorry, my group planned this shoot last night, and I didn't find out about it until I got home from working.

SECURITY GUY:
Well, make sure this doesn't happen again. Work is your #1 priority. Everything else comes after.

Work comes first? Maybe if working security was what I wanted to do all my life. Sorry, Nazi Jim, but I think you blowing me is a bigger priority. Speaking of blowing, is there anyone out there that can explain this picture:



That picture, if some of you aren't familiar (but I doubt it because I'm usually the one who is behind on all of this movie-watching), is from Stanley Kubick's The Shining. Mike informed me, before I watched it, that there would be this really odd moment near the end, and I assume this is it. I just remember saying to myself, "Why, I do believe that bear is giving that man oral pleasure." All-in-all, I was really creeped out by the movie in general. Nicholson's maniacal laughter, the sets, the hotel halls and hedgemaze, and the music was enough to creep me out...not that I lost sleep over it. I was just creeped out during the film. Seriously, though, can someone with more insight tell me what's up with the bear giving head, or is it something I need to just take at face value?

Anyway, that's all. This should be the last post until November. have a good Halloween, everybody.

I'm Loving It!...well, maybe not the sick feeling and the loss of money...

Hey, everyone.

Remember those days when I wouldn't dare go to a fast food restaurant, let alone eat anything that came from McDonald's? Obviously, those days are long gone as my waist size will prove. However, in the past year, I have gained too much weight...about 60 of the 100 pounds I lost. So, I have been going back to Weight Watchers meetings in a dire attempt to get some help with the problem at hand.

Well, the first two weeks of the program didn't go exactly as planned; once I ate more than I should have, I felt the week was a lost cause and started eating a lot more. Luckily, because I spend tons of hours a week at work (which include staying up extremely late), my weight has maintained. This week, however, I was really determined to stay on top of things. However, it appears that a likely foe and an unlikely foe have formed an evil bond to destroy me...Uncle Pennybags and Ronald McDonald:

In case you don't know what that means, it means that McDonald's is doing their Monopoly piece Collect-and-Win game again. However, this time, they added a new spin. The pieces now come with codes on them that you can input into a website for more chances to win. Also, if you get things like large fries, then you automatically get Best Buy bucks (coupons for $1 or $3 off Best Buy items).

Now, I know what you're thinking: it's still a rip-off. Still, all I had to hear from a cashier was "some girl won a PSP from here yesterday," and that was it. They officially sucked me in. Since Wednesday, I have had four Quarter Pounder meals, and each one has sat like a brick in my stomach.

So, the Weight Watchers probably isn't working this week, you might think. Wrong. So far, I have still managed to lose five pounds this week, and it's because those Quarter Pounder meals were the only damn things I had on the days I ate them. Was I starving at work, then, for a good nine hours? Yes. But, you know, at some point, your body just stops being hungry. I guess it's the bodies way of saying "fine, I'll just take some of your pre-stored fat or kidney."

Still, I can't keep eating like this. Even if I did continue like this, and lost the weight, I'm sure my blood pressure would go through the roof from all the oils and sodium. Plus, I'm sure that the poor eating mixed with the lack of sleep is the reason I'm tired all of the time. So, it is with this that I say that I'm knocking McDonald's out of my life again...at least until I get paid on Wednesday.

Newsletters

Hey, everyone.

I heard through the grapevine that Ryan suggested I send out newsletters to state when I update this blog. So, starting with this post, I will send out a newsletter everytime I update the site. Thanks for the suggestion, Ryan.

Anyway, just to give you guys something for checking my blog, here is a link to a video you can watch. (Ryan has already seen it, and I think he may hate me for sending him the link.) Anyway, here it is:

http://www.picapic.net/media/SKBNHBP84Q8GV4

I'm a cheap bastard!

Yay, a new post! (Not that it's anything special.)

So, yeah, sorry about the sparse updates...working, working, working. The blog should be updated more frequently when my security job is over at the end of October. Speaking of which, does anyone want to celebrate the end of Halloween Haunt with me? That means a regular hang out but with a cake and some party hats. Anyone like hats? Anyway, just get back to me.

Back to today's post.

The other day, I went to a Halloween Shop to look for a wig that I need for a performance in Acting for Non-Actors. (In case anyone is wondering, I have to impersonate Weird Al impersontaing Avril Lavigne...this should go down in a blaze of glory.) Well, I found a wig, but it's $25. However, there was a sign in the store that said they can refund or exchange items before October 24th. So, I went up to the cashier to inquire about this:

ME:
Excuse me, but is this wig considered an accessory?

CASHIER:
An accessory?

ME:
Yeah. Your sign says you can refund all accessories as long as it's before October 24th.

CASHIER:
Hmm...I dunno...If it's in good condition, I guess. Do you want to buy it?

ME:
Not right now. I'm going to come again on Monday to pick it up...after I get paid.

CASHIER:
Okay, but just make sure to bring it back before the 24th if you find it's not exactly what you're looking for.

ME:
Actually, I'm gonna bring it back later that day.

CASHIER:
Why?

ME:
Well, it's because I only need it for a three-hour period. It's not gonna get damaged or anything, but I only need it for three hours, so I'm gonna come back later for a refund.

Bre was with me and witnessed this exchange. After we left the store, she said, basically, that I looked like a cheap schmuck (jokingly, of course), but, c'mon, $25 for a wig that I only need for a solid ten minutes in a three hour class? Damn straight I'm returning it for a refund. Although, she is right; I didn't have to tell the cashier all of this.

A Halloween Haunt Pic...

I found this on a Halloween Haunt message board. The zombie failed in scaring the guest, so this resulted:

I'm pretty sure he's not allowed to do that, but screw it...that guy looks like he's having a good time.

Stupid people at Knott's...

Hey, everyone.

Well, I said I would write something by 4:00pm today, so here it goes.

Recently, there was an incident at Halloween Haunt involving a guest and one of the "monsters". (Unfortunately, I wasn't there to witness this first hand, but this is what another security guard told me.) You see, throughout the park, there are mazes that guests walk through where they can be scared by monsters popping out of various areas. Well, this one guy walked in with his son, and the guy ended up punching one of the monsters in the face, cutting the monster's lip in the process. When asked why he did this, the guy responded, "Because he scared my kid." The security guard there then made a "WTF" face and said "But, sir, that's what you paid for."

Seriously, people pay for Halloween Haunt to get scared! What the hell did this asshole expect? Was the monster just going to idly walk by his son, bake him a cake, and blow him kiss? Needless to say, this guy got kicked out of the maze, but I seriously think that his ass should have been shot for being retarded and bringing his 6-year-old to Halloween Haunt. I bet this is the same guy who takes his crying infant to my R-rated screening.

Anyway, that's today's post. I know it's short, but today has been non-stop. I'll talk to you guys later.