Knott's...The Adventure Begins

Hey, everyone. Sorry that I haven't posted anything in a while, but I've been busier than all Hell. The reason is, of course, because I started working at Knott's Berry Farm.

Last Tuesday, I had to attend an orientation with about 100 other people. A lot of people, like yours truly, showed up a little too early and started getting bored. So, the guy speaker for the orientation thought he'd treat us to many of his jokes.

SPEAKER:
Alright...why are giraffes necks so long?

(Silence)

SPEAKER:
So they can reach their heads!

(Scattered pity chuckles.)

(Silence)

SOME DUDE IN THE BACK ROW:
Boo!

After this, we all head to sit through his lecture of the four cornerstones of Knott's: service, courtesy, safety and...hmm...I seem to have forgotten the last one. Anyway, they are all held together by Integrity. CLEANLINESS! That's the fourth one. I knew I'd remember.

At one point during this orientation, a 50-year-old employee came out with a very tattered uniform, and she was "looming for her seat." What followed was a staged performance by the Speaker and his assistant.

SPEAKER:
So, can anyone tell me what is wrong with her uniform?

(Silence)

SOME DUDE IN THE BACK ROW:
She's on crack!

I kind of felt sorry for the speaker and his assistant since they were getting bullshit like that from people in the crowd. However, Knott's did give the okay for these guys to get hired, so...eh.

The next day, I had to go to P.E.A.N.U.T.S. guest service orientation. This was a very long and over-enthusiastic lecture about how to give great guest service, a lecture that I have heard at least five times before from previous jobs. Well, during this lecture, the speaker really hyped up how fun Knott's is and how fun it will be to work there. This contrasted very greatly with the message that I got from the Security Division Orientation afterwards:

You will be the most hated people in this park. People will look at you in disgust. You will be called everything from a liar to a racist, and you just have to grin and bare it.

Hmm...being hated doesn't fall anywhere in my definition of having a fun time. It wasn't until later when I truly realized how we are viewed in the eyes of the guests. You see, at one point, we left the training room to see a rehearsal performance for a Halloween Haunt show, and we had to part through a group of monsters backstage. As we were passing, all of the mosters started doing the Imperial March Theme from Star Wars...you know, that music you hear at the beginning of A New Hope when Vader appears.

At first, I felt a bit unnerved and a little annoyed by all this. However, I realized that these people were associating us with Vader, a guy who could choke a bitch from 10 feet away. Okay, this is cool!

Let's see if it stays cool...